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Sunday, March 2, 2014

Genius at work

Hello dear readers,

Well, it has been a busy time, what with my new work role and my desire to sleep 14 hours per night until the endless grey misery of winter subsides. Admittedly, transitioning from working a night shift in general solitude to engaging with the 'regular' work world during the day has been more stressful than anticipated. It is not simply the increased need to chit-chat (on the way to the WC, while getting biscuits, while waiting for the kettle, while walking, breathing etc) but the ceaselessly pressurised requirement to be (or look) busy while sitting at one's computer.

When on my own in the caravan doing order processing (my previous role, as many will know), I would work when work needed to be done, which on average was most of the time, if not slightly more. But when there was a lull - say for example when the computer system collapsed due to an excess number of sausages being ordered, or the printer jammed so incredibly that even God himself couldn't recover the sheer number of paper fragments in the recesses of its internal workings - then I was at my leisure.

I could put my feet up, have a look around cyberspace at cats jamming their lithe bodies into small spaces, or even on occasion close my eyes and express internal regret at extending my daily walk instead of having a proper afternoon kip.

But no, dear readers, in an office, one cannot interface with reality in this way. One must always appear to be advancing the company's prospects, either hard at the work at hand or researching better ways of packaging or something something efficiency.

If I were to be honest, my old, less respected role required my full concentration and saw little time for slacking. My new role seems to have been formulated for a small child, as I really only have about three hours of work to do daily. And yet, it is regarded as the more 'serious' role within the company.

So how does one 'kill time'* in an office environment?

*For those who remember Thoreau's admonishments about this rhetorical expression, I too am wincing.

On the plus side, my excessive time staring into a meaningless spreadsheet has led to an excellent new idea: IKEA-style shoes. Basically, one can order them from an internet site to be put together at home. The advantage would be that should a member of the fairer sex break a heel, she could simply reorder the heel and use the hex key to replace it quickly and easily.

It could also offer a range of options for style, decoration, etc., so that the wearer would not be beholden to the mass produced entity. Any commercial investors interested in partnering up out there?

Stay well,
Nate

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