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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The wisdom of Nigel Farage

Hello dear readers,

Yes, still alive, enjoying the benefits of permanent austerity and Ed Milliband's continuing impersonations of Marcel Marceau. (Sorry if my references are dated, but that's what happens when you reach a certain age - like with rocks, calcification occurs).

In the field of Great War remembrances, I came across Nigel Farage's enlightened take on 1918 in the Guardian today. It seems the voice of UKiP has come to the mesmerising conclusion that the war should have been fought for another six months to guarantee Germany's unconditional surrender. This, he argues, would have put paid to the notion that the nation had been stabbed in the back, which underpinned Hitler's rise.

Well, aside from that only being one facet of Hitler's ascension (hm, economic conditions might have been a touch more immediate and pressing), it is the most absurd sort of historical theorising. Really, he should keep to his message of 'too many immigrants' and not branch outside of his ken, as he doesn't seem to realise that hindsite is one of those games we can all play rather well.

I imagine Mr Farage has a few more historical cards up his sleeve:

1 - John Kennedy should have avoided Dallas in November, 1963 - or at least have been leaning slightly more to his left while driving in the motorcade

2 - Cunard should have opted for the slightly more expensive rivets for the Titanic

3 - Nate Fitzgerald should have opted for butter chicken instead of the beef vindaloo Sunday last (I believe I have violated the warranty on my sphincter)

4 - England should have scored more goals and allowed fewer in the last World Cup, which would have improved their chances of winning the championship

5 - And of course, someone should have killed Hitler in 1923

Clearly Mr Farage's insights show he is highly capable of making pivitol history-changing decisions in the future when the people of Britain elect him to the highest office in the land. Then again, he couldn't do much worse than the lot of toffs we've got in there now.

Have I missed any good historical observations? Why not leave a comment?

Stay well dear readers,