INT. CASCADE
The Cascade restaurant is a fine dining establishment still inviting enough for the common man or woman to venture forth for a special occasion. Unfortunately, business is slow.
MANUEL, 30s, is serving ROGER, a puffy faced Scouse business man in a loose tie and blue suit. Roger is no Rhodes Scholar. He looks at the wine list.
MANUEL
I would recommend the Leduc 2003, a rather peppery Shiraz. Intense tannins.
Roger screws up his face.
MANUEL (CONT'D)
Or not. Perhaps a lighter Beaujolais Nouveau, made by Jean Labelle. Don't suppose you know who he is?
ROGER
Sounds foreign.
MANUEL
Suspiciously, yes. He's the Cote D’Azur's premiere winemaker.
Roger grunts indifferently and looks at the back of the list, as if hoping for someone redeeming.
ROGER
How about a Stella?
MANUEL
Stella?
ROGER
Artois is her last name. You have eight pints and wake to find you've murdered the cat.
MANUEL
I'm afraid we don't-
INSTANT CUT to front door slamming shut.
INT. CASCADE - DAY (CONTINUOUS)
PAUL, the co-owner, is leaning on the far end of the bar doodling on a clipboard. He’s extremely slack. Manuel wanders over.
MANUEL
Another satisfied customer.
CLAIRE, the very alternative-looking Goth chef, comes out of the kitchen with a clipboard, twirling her dreadlocks.
PAUL
Mm, something smells good.
CLAIRE
That’s gas. We’re having trouble with the pilot light.
PAUL
Still... Ta-da!
Paul lifts his clipboard to reveal an idiotic looking dog with a fork.
PAUL (CONT'D)
I know what you're thinking, but if we want to increase business, we have to reach out to the common man. And every successful establishment has a mascot. A scary clown, a former fat fellow who loves sandwiches, a Kentucky slave owner...
MANUEL
Those are fast food restaurants. We serve quality food. On plates.
CLAIRE
Paul’s right.
MANUEL
That we need a hideous dog as a mascot?
CLAIRE
No, we need to brand ourselves better.
PAUL
Exactly! History shows that when you take any food and add a cartoon character, kids will nag the parents to bring them in and boom, six billion hamburgers later you’re...
MANUEL
Obese and diabetic.
CLAIRE
And as rich as Midas.
PAUL
The lad who owns the kebab shop?
CLAIRE
No, King Midas. From Greek mythology. Everything he touched turned to gold.
PAUL
Must have been awful as a teenager.
Paul makes a subtle wanking motion. Claire turns to Manuel.
CLAIRE
So as you know, cod is off tonight’s menu.
MANUEL
On fish pie night!
PAUL
It's too expensive. I got us a substitute.
CLAIRE
Shark is an inferior fish.
PAUL
Bah. Never heard of a cod ripping an Australian’s leg off.
MANUEL
There’s hope yet.
