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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Official warning

Hello dear readers,

Well, a bit of excitement in my long dormant life. I have for the first time in my short professional life been OFFICIALLY WARNED.

It even came with letter sporting the header OFFICIAL WARNING, underlined, in bold. I'm not certain what happened to being subtle. I had a short meeting with my manager - my fifth since the start of my employment. But that's another story.

All I can say is if your name is Diana Ross, you're bound to get a few remarks of a jovial nature come your way. And if you're a pasty white woman of a certain age (mid 40s), you would think one might foresee the potential for irony and go by a different moniker. Perhaps Di Ross? Perhaps a middle name?

And if one were offended by what I'll admit were perhaps over frequent remarks such as 'How are the Pips today?' and 'I may ease on down, ease on down the road* for a sandwich, would anyone like one?' you would think the offended party would voice some sort of dissatisfaction and not lodge a formal complaint.

*remember that classic? still holds up

Not that anything is likely to come from my wrist slap. I will simply substitute comic overtures with withering looks of veiled contempt, which I have been practicing in my mirror while beard trimming. And any notion of a romantic night out is now most certainly off the books.

Yes, still single and looking.

Well, dear readers, it has been a long time since anything noteable or interesting has happened in my life. Read this as good or bad. Perhaps I shan't wait so long to communicate in future. Please leave some comments. I am still quite desperately lonely.

Stay well,
Nate

8 comments:

  1. You're back! I always need some Natesy in my pathetic life! Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I AM ALSO NAMED NATE FITZGERALD. I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT.

    I LOVE THIS BLOG. PLEASE POST MORE SO THAT I MAY READ IT.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my, I am blushing. Unfortunately, I made a vow a year ago to only post if I had anything out of the ordinary to post. As you can see, my life is shockingly mundane. But I do appreciate the comments. Given your name, no doubt you are a handsome gent as well!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bummer, I think that most of your life is out of the ordinary and should be posted.

      Cheers.

      Delete
  4. Baked Alaska sucks and should never be in a potluckOctober 24, 2013 at 3:42 PM

    Omg I googled a long ago classmate and THIS MESS COMES UP. And mess in a good way. Laughing. Will follow creepily and comment accordingly. Cheers. Or do our brothers and sisters across the pond get pissed when we say that (pissed literally or figuratively) Ole! How about that?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Baked Alaska, back in the saddleOctober 24, 2013 at 3:44 PM

    Oh yeah I went to England once, loved it. Despite getting mugged in Islington. The coppers gave me a ride back to the hotel after offering me tea.

    ReplyDelete